The Painted Lady

The Painted Lady

When asked what animal I thought

I was most like, I wanted to reply

with those that I’d prefer to be

rather than ones that resembled me.

The lioness with her effortless prowess,

the shark with its sleek chic physique,

or the black bear for her ferocity.

I then decided I could be a hybrid breed.

A Frankenstein’s monster made up

Of many similes:

I could say I’m a skunk as when I drink

I drink like a fish and then I get drunk

and I’m always as bad as a dog the next day.

I eat like a pig when I’m as hungry as a horse

but when I’m not in the mood I pick at my food,

gnaw on it like a little mouse would do.

I can sometimes be as wise as an owl

but I can also be as dumb as an ox

or even as mad as a box of frogs if I fancy.

And when the time is right,

especially at night,

I can be a right foxy lady!

Most days I’ll be dashing around

as busy as a bee.

That’s when I long to be a sloth instead,

lazing in my warm soft cosy bed.

I’m a hard worker, just like an ant in an army,

team work is key, but then I have times

when I prefer it just to be me.

I laugh like a hyena, I get the giggles when I’m nervous

and I wriggle about and squirm like a worm.

I’m as gentle as a lamb, cute as a kitten

but if I am bitten, I will bite back.

I will smile and snap my jaws tightly like a crocodile.

Yet my tears are always real.

I get panda eyes when I cry.

I can hold a grudge, I’m as stubborn as a mule

and like an elephant, I never forget.

When I’m angry I’ll hop up and down on the spot like a kangaroo

but I wouldn’t do that in front of you.

I’d remain as cool as a cat until out of view.

I could even be part Magon the Dragon

as I too once lived by the sea

and my breath is often hot and fiery,

but nothing a Rennie or two wouldn’t soothe.

Now all this said and done I still had the desire to decide on

just one creature that shared my features

and it so happens that one day

the answer fluttered down in front of me,

and I realised how much it was like me.

At first it wasn’t something I’d freely admit to

but somehow this insect seemed to fit the bill.

It shows my traits I hate to display,

my softer side that I often hide away.

My gentle nature.  I nurture, I’m kind.

I have a vulnerable body and a fragile mind.

But it also reflects my ability to change,

to be plain or pretty

to blend in to surroundings.

To adapt to life by coast and county,

in town and city.

Free to roam wherever I choose

And settle in the place I wish to call home.

And that is why now when I am asked

what animal I think I’m most like, I reply,

I am Vanessa Cardui

commonly known as the Painted Lady.

Above you will find my signature poem introducing my new stage persona Vanessa Cardui, The Painted Lady.  I mentioned in my last blog that I was looking for a new name after being mistaken a number of times as a male poet.  Now, those people who know me would ask how on earth anyone could mistake me for a man, but on hearing my name people would automatically assumed Chris is a bloke.  At one venue I was even billed as the flare wearing hippy ex lead singer of band The Black Crows.  This is when I decided I either needed to change my name or start wearing flares with a pair of socks down the front.  What can I say?  I'm not overly keen on flares!

This poem was originally entitled Lepidopteran and did describe me as being a butterfly so all I've done is changed the title and amended the last couple of lines to fit.  Vanessa Cardui is the scientific name for The Painted Lady butterfly and is quite apt as not only do I have tattoos (and plan to have more done in the future) I am, again as previously blogged, an artists model and therefore a painted lady in more ways than one!

Vanessa will be appearing at a venue near you after November.

 

So, apart from the name change, what have I been doing September/October?

I've read at events in Teesside and Newcastle including the Black Light Engine Room, Laid Bare, Newcastle Central Library and Acoustic Circus.  The 2nd of my creative writing walks with Durham County Council happened earlier this month and one again proved to be a HUGE success with 15 people in attendance and the driest sunniest day since I studiply said I liked Autumn because of its nice crisp dry sunny days.  You know, my blog that came just before the floods and constant rain!  The walk was at Bishop Auckland and took 3 hours where I gave site specific writing exercises to get writers and walkers to create imaginative pieces of fantasy fiction using the world around them.  I received some lovely feedback from attendees.

 

What else?

The Brass Book exhibition is currently at Seaham Library but will soon be moving to its permanent home in London.  The pamphlet of nonsense poetry I'm working on with my friend, Nicola, is almost ready.  The next Blackhall Writers' Group meeting is tomorrow evening where I hope to be spooking up some stories.

 

And what will be occuring between now and the next blog?

I'm currently working on an exciting new project entitled Mythlesbrough, which involves lots of writing and the building of papier mache bridges and beasties.  This project will take up most of my time and will be ready for touring in the new year.  This is an example of the work so far:

 

So until next time, have a spooky halloween and a safe bonfire night.